People, Do Your Thing. Please. (A Love Letter)
A reminder and an exhortation
Hello lovelies,
My friend Sharon died a couple of weeks ago. I attended her memorial service yesterday.
She was young, 67, but she had Parkinson’s, a beast of a disease. A brutal beast of a disease. She was diagnosed when she was in her early fifties and lived with it a long time. And, here’s the deal: while she lived with this horrid disease, she lived life to the fullest. The absolute fullest.
Parkinson’s started out for her with unsteadiness. She kept falling. She held her right arm bent and against her chest. L-dopamine helped for awhile. So did a surgery that enabled her to adjust her meds easily. But the disease continued to take its awful toll. She became wheelchair bound. Her body spasmed. Her speech became very difficult to understand. And yet, with all of this, she pressed on.
She went to Africa and was so inspired by that trip that forever after she funded wells for fresh water there. She rented an apartment and spend a month in Paris with her husband, Paul (who tooled her all over the city in her wheelchair). She went on road trips with Paul when he had out-of-town gigs with his band. She mothered her two daughters and became a step-grandmother to a succession of the children of girlfriends ad boyfriends. She collected people (never met a stranger, always stopped to talk to people) and cooked and baked. She wrote a memoir (which I had the honor of helping her with).
In her shoes, I would not have had the gumption to do half of what she did. (It also has to be said that she was as stubborn as they come, and once she set her mind to something, it was a done deal. We should have elected her president.) The last time I saw her, she was confined to a wheelchair and I had a very hard time understanding her words. But, with the help of her husband, she told me about a couple of road trips they had taken and some visits with other friends.
On the drive to the service yesterday I said that I hoped it was a celebration. And it was. Person after person got up to tell Sharon stories. That time she dragged her friends to Darcelle’s, a local drag show, the time she took them to a strip club, the time when her friend called in the middle of the night in horribly pain and Sharon got up out of bed and went with her to the ER. And then when the medical staff was going to send the friend home, Sharon yelled at the doctor and said the friend needed a CT scan. Which she got—and was promptly rushed into surgery.
Two things come to mind here, a reminder and an exhortation. First-stories. Stories are what make people and life on this poor groaning old planet come alive. Some of the people who spoke mumbled and stuttered. Others told stories like a professional. But it didn’t matter how proficient they were because the story was the important thing. As I listened to people talk, I kept reminding myself how lucky I am—and you are—that this is our business. We are in the business of telling stories. It’s the best business in the world and we are privileged to get to do it. Because stories are the thing that makes us human.
So now comes the exhortation. I am going to exhort you do all the things. Quit putting off writing that book. Quit procrastinating on getting your story on paper. Quit putting off doing the things that mean the most to you. Quit giving the best part of yourself to the shoulds in your life. Eat dessert first. Grab at life with both hands. Do your thing. Whatever your thing is, do it. I assume it is writing or some related form of creativity because you are reading this blog. Life is short. We waste our time mindlessly scrolling pretty pictures on Insta. C’mon people, we are better than that.
I leave you with an incomparable song. This one’s for you, Sharon.
Love, light and good writing,
Charlotte
P.S. People, do your thing. Please.
P.P.S. Leave a comment and tell me about your thing, whether it is writing or something else.
Books
Thank you for your book suggestions last week! Keep ‘em coming, any time you’ve got one to share.
Praisesong for the Kitchen Ghosts, by Crystal Wilkinson. I get bragging rights on this one. Ish. Crystal and I got our MFAs together and she was in my very first MFA workshop. Now she’s a huge name. I bought this for my beloved D-I-L for her birthday and now I desperately want it for myself. I’m dropping big hints for Mother’s Day since it comes sooner than my birthday. The book is a “lyrical culinary journey that explores the hidden legacy of Black Appalachians.” In other words, it’s a memoir with recipes.
Mrs Quinn’s Rise to Fame, by Olivia Ford. This may be a DNF. It’s fine, just a bit on the meh side. Years ago, my first creative writing teacher Craig Lesley used to talk about the moment when the prose “lifts off the page.” I can’t exactly put into words what he meant but I totally get it anyway. This book never lifts off the page for me. But it sounded so, so good. Jenny—Mrs Quinn—tries out for Britain Bakes at the age of seventy-seven and wins a spot. But as her star rises, old secrets threaten her comfy life. I do appreciate reading about an older protagonist, though!
Watching
Haven’t been watching much this week (except for Jeopardy, which my sister and a fav student have finally gotten me hooked on) because I’ve been working at night. (A very rare thing indeed.) So please do tell me what you’re watching because next week I’ll be ready for more!
All the Light You Cannot See. Intense-much? Yes. I read the novel by Anthony Doerr years ago and wouldn’t let my biz partner Debbie choose it as our book-in-common for our France workshop because of said-intensity. But we started watching this mini-series and were blown away. Set in WW2, it’s about a blind young woman, Marie-Laure, and a German soldier and so much more. Of special note is that both the actresses who play Marie-Laure, both as a five-year-old (ish) girl and young woman are blind in real life. (Hint to France workshop attendees: you’ll be reading this novel.)
Articles and Resources
Writing scenes out of order. My mid-week extra for paid subscribers went up on Wednesday.
The afore-mentioned Crystal Wilkinson has started her own imprint for Black writers at the University of Kentucky press. Submissions open until mid-March.
How much information do you need to include for new readers of a series?
Do we really have to do all this self promotion?
Events
Creative writing workshops in France and Italy next year. (England is now full.) See all here. And let me just add: future you is going to be sooooo happy that you committed to a week in Céret, France, or Perugia, Italy to further your writing career and your world travels! Reply to this email if you want to learn more.
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Oh Charlotte, I’m so sad over Sharon’s loss. (I’m behind on my email reading, as you can see.) Reading about her gumption, and that of her husband, esp going to Paris(!) is so inspiring. And her service sounded like it was wonderful. Yes, yes, I’ve wasted so much time. Thank you for telling us about her and connecting it to needed action! 🩷
Hear, hear for Crystal Wilkinson’s new book! I gave it as a present last week and now also wishing I had a copy too!
Such a meaningful and heartfelt piece, Charlotte. I have shared your words and Sharon's example with others in my family. Thank you so much for sharing her story and for your encouragement to continue to follow our bliss.