On Medical Scares, Travel, and Uncertainty (A Love Letter)
Life is unpredictable. So is writing.
Dear Lovies,
I am only now, at my suddenly advanced age, realizing how much I freaking hate uncertainty. I want to know what is going to happen in my life. I rely on knowing to give myself security and a sense of safety in the world, not to mention predictability which increases my productivity: Tomorrow I can write longer because I don’t have any appointments until later, and then only one more in the afternoon and in the evening we are meeting friends for dinner. Yep, I know what the demands on my time are and where I can fit some writing in between. And that is that.
And yet, we can never truly know what is going to happen. We think we can, but we cannot. Case in point: an incident that happened to me on Friday. Happily I went to see my doctor, my departure for Europe to teach workshops in France and Italy four days hence.
What is the saying? “If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans.” Yeah, that one.
Because at my doctor’s appointment, there was the small matter of my blood pressure being shockingly high. It’s been moderately high in the past, but never anything like this. And my doctor looked at me and said, “You’re not getting on that plane on Tuesday unless we can deal with this.”
I was prescribed medication and told to start it immediately, and also to come back the next day. Time was of the essence because Monday was Labor Day, a holiday in the states. (Pro tip: do not schedule an overseas trip for the day after a three-day weekend.)
Talk about uncertainty. As I started writing this, I had no idea what would happen. My brain was in a chaos of what ifs: but what if I have to skip the whole trip? What if I have to arrive later? How will I reschedule my flight, my hotel in Paris (already too late to cancel the reservation), my train trip to Céret? And, of course, this is one of the most complicated trips we’ve ever planned. Landing in Paris, traveling south for a week, then driving from Céret to Perugia, Italy and teaching a workshop there. Even if my trip was just delayed, where would I be able to slot myself into the itinerary?
My teaching partner sent me a link to breathing exercises to calm high blood pressure. I went to pick up my meds immediately, barking “No” when the pharmacist said she could fill the prescription on Tuesday. (She got them to me in 20 minutes.) I breathed. I researched lowering blood pressure. I tried not to obsess and ruminate over what I would do if I had to rebook everything. I breathed more.
On Saturday, I got to the clinic ten minutes before it opened for a brief period and sat in the car practicing, you guessed it, breathing. And then came the moment they took my blood pressure again. By then, I was strangely calm. Because whatever would be would be. And, wait for it, my blood pressure was down by a huge amount. Still high, but the trend was enough that my doctor announced I did not have to reschedule my trip.
And, of course, as I ponder this experience and the nature of uncertainty I think about how we as writers deal with it all the time. All the freaking time. Pantsers, and dare I say it, plotters, too, are uncertain where their book is headed, or if they will even be able to finish it. Does the Save the Cat structure work for it, or should they look more deeply into the hero’s journey? Is the main character developed enough so that she comes to life on the page? Writers of all stripes are uncertain if/how their work will get published. Will the book nab them an agent? Will the agent be able to sell it? Will publishing trends scuttle their dreams? Will self-publishing work for them? And if the book does get published one way or another, will it find an audience? Will readers like it?
That’s not all. Some days (most? many?) we’re uncertain if we are going to have time or energy to sit down to practice this craft we love. Will a writing session be fruitful or discouraging? Will the desire to write burning within be strong enough to withstand the perils of the career? Will they continue to take to the page despite all these uncertainties?
And yet, we persevere through these doubts. And that’s because of that desire that burns within—the desire to tell our own unique stories. We do it because we want to, and not because somebody told us to. We do it because there are stories within us vying to come out. We write novels and short stories and memoirs and essays unsure if anybody other than ourselves will see them. But ultimately, that doesn’t matter. We do it because we must.
I’m old enough to remember when “keep the faith” was a popular phrase among certain like-minded people (aka hippies). It’s a useful phrase. And it’s what we need to do as writers, even when things aren’t going well, when times are hard, when we’re uncertain. Keep the faith, people, keep the faith.
Love, light, and good writing,
Charlotte
P.S. I really am leaving on Tuesday now and this brouhaha has left me with less time to prepare than I envisioned. So I must fess up that I’m not sure what will happen with this newsletter while I’m gone. My plans are to follow my regular Sunday schedule, but the newsletters may just be photos!
P.P.S I posted my prompts for September newsletter yesterday so keep an eye out for that.
Articles and Resources
Hilarious article on erotic romance
Just for fun: Yasshi the tree survives a typhoon as millions cheer it on.
Some good tips here on what not to write.
This doctor (A TikTok famous surgeon who is not young) writes 1,000 words a day. Great interview with him, even though, fair warning it is also a shill for the Freewrite.
Books
Driving Over Lemons, by Chris Stewart. This is the memoir for our Italy workshop. I accidentally started reading it at the same time as the Reichl book. Highly entertaining so far! (Not set in Italy, but Spain. Oh well.) Update: It’s been a crazy week. I’m pages from being done but not quite there yet. I’m liking the second half better than the first part.
Overseas Workshops
If you’ve read my letter, you know I am off to France and Italy on Tuesday. As noted, I’ll likely be sharing photos and stories here. But you can learn more about the workshops on our website France and Italy, including blog posts that will tell you all about the location of our France workshop and why we love it so much. You can read about art and artists in Céret, the crazy annual footrace there, and best of all, the wonderful local bakeries. Nab your spot now. And here is the promised interview with our guest resident Angela M. Sanders (written by the wonderful Shari Lane, whose book is also wonderful!)
But, most important, information, including dates and cost, for our 2025 England workshops are now listed on our website. We’ve had several writers indicate strong interest in joining, so we recommend registering soon.
Other places to connect with me:
My website (badly in need of an upgrade)
Our workshop website
My original blog (now for archive purposes only, no longer updated)
Ways I can help you:
I am so glad that your blood pressure came down and that you're able to be where you are. Sending love and light for a wonderful trip and experience. I have slightly high blood pressure and understand what you're talking about. Practice your breathing. Take care of yourself and I look forward to seeing you again and having you regale me with stories of your adventures!
I’m very glad that your blood pressure has come down. This is such a wonderful beautiful letter. It’s come at a great time for me when I was really frustrated that some creative plans I had went out the window due to things beyond my control. BUT your way of thinking about this gives me the comfort of knowing I’m not alone. Thank you and safe travels!!!