Life is Hard, Adulting is Hard, And Sometimes Things Just Suck, Including Your Writing (A Love Letter)
But it's also joyous and magical
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Hi lovies,
No, nothing is wrong with me, although reading that headline you might assume so. I’m actually doing really well. This year has been pretty damn great for me, despite the wild shenanigans of certain humans we shall not name. I’ve got fabulous clients, wonderful readers, satisfying writing projects, an amazing family, and Chip the pug has joined our household. Pugs make everything better. Chip the pug in particular.
But I’m old. (This is not a negative.)
And I’ve seen some things. A lot of things. I’ve done some things. A lot of things. Some I’m really proud of, some not so much. Some I’m sorry for and some I should be sorry for but I’m not.
Because of all of the above, this thought has come home to roost: life is hard. It is f$@#ing hard. Adulting is hard. Freaking hard.
Those are truths. And I say that as an incurable optimist.
Because: just when you congratulate yourself on how your rescue dog never has an accident, you discover he’s been peeing on your shoes in the bedroom. Your oven dies and you gotta buy a new one, but money is tight. Work is slow, you’re worried about your job. Your partner has been distracted and cold lately. And grumpy! Honestly, what’s with the grumpiness? Your child who was an adorable toddler a minute ago is now a surly teenager. Your grandma is sick.
And don’t even get me started on writing. Oh hell no. Because there’s the self doubt, and why does it have to rise up every damn time you open a file? That latest critique you got on the scene that you thought was perfect. Ugh. And for the love of God, can somebody please tell the publishing world to get its act together? Why did we choose this ridiculous career anyway?
But here’s the deal. The truth that life is hard is good news. You know why? Because you’re doing it. You’re adulting through it. You’re making shit happen and getting things done and even if you don’t finish every single item on your to-do list, you’re working on it. You’re buying the oven, finding the money. You’re doing the writing. And you have energy leftover to hug your kid and call your grandma, and kiss your spouse. And she smiles at you for the first time in what seems like ages and says she loves you.
Then you get to your writing and you open the file of the last scene you wrote and it’s not so bad after all. You take another look at the chapter that the critique group dissected and realize they didn’t have that many comments, that the bones are good. And you remember to be grateful to be a writer at a time when there are so many paths to publication.
And, oh yeah, then maybe write a little? You get yourself to the page and start putting words on it. The tightness in your shoulders eases and the knot in your stomach loosens and your remember why you do this. You always have this refuge. Always, always, always. Every day. It’s like an insane little miracle.
So, yes life is hard and so is writing. But that’s what makes the joys of it all so good.
Love, light, and good writing,
Charlotte
P.S. Tell me how things have been good for you lately.
Articles and Resources
My wonderful writer friend Shari has started a serialization of her equally wonderful book, Dogs of Looser Island. It’s a novel of connected stories, each featuring a dog, no surprise, but also quirky, memorable characters. There are moments of joy and moments of sorrow. It’s so, so good. Here’s the link. BUT I have five free one-month paid subscriptions for it. So hit me up if you’d like one. Reply to this newsletter or leave a comment—you will thank me.
I wrote about flat scenes and how to liven them up this week.
How to spot a publishing scam email.
When you don’t write what you know, and it’s not good for your story.
When you want to quit writing because a couple of jerks didn’t know how to critique. This is a reddit and there are some great responses.
Books
I swear to you, I read every night. And yet I have not made good progress on my current books in progress. So these are the same as from last week. With updates.
Anxious People by Frederik Backman. I’m not sure why I downloaded this to my Kindle or why I chose it to read on the way home from LA out of the twenty thousand titles on my Kindle. (Kidding. Sort of.) I haven’t read a Backman title since A Man Called Ove. (Never did see the movie.) But I’m enjoying this one. There’s an omniscient narrator and a bank robbery gone awry that turns into a hostage situation. But mainly the story focuses on a whole cast of cranky characters. Backman’s gift is to reassure readers that, yes, life is freaking hard and you’re right to be anxious and crabby. But then he turns it around into a life-affirming wrap-up that feels earned. Update: I think I had Backman’s voice in my head as I got the idea for this love letter, which practically wrote itself.
Margo’s Got Money Troubles by Rufi Thorpe. A friend recommended this book and I’d seen it mentioned a lot so I picked it up before I left for LA and read it on the plane on the way down. I was immediately entranced. Margo is a painfully young mother of a newborn, the father of whom is a supercilious university English professor who won’t have anything to do with Margo when he finds out she’s pregnant. So of course she turns to OnlyFans as a way to make a living. Other characters include witless roommates and a father who is a former WWE wrestler. It’s hilarious and charming and I love the way the author takes chances with viewpoint and writing in general. However, I’m currently a bit stalled in the middle. It feels like a book that has a great idea and fabulous set-up and then loses steam. But I’m powering through. Update: Haven’t gotten back to it yet. But I will!
The Ghost Trials, by M.C. Metz. This is an exciting one for me to announce. It’s my client Maria’s novel and I’ve had the pleasure of reading part of it in manuscript and I highly recommend it. Maria creates extraordinary worlds and has a knack for writing the scrappy hard-luck character. So, so good. Update: Maria’s novel has hit the Amazon bestseller charts in a couple of legit categories!
Watching
The Residence. We’ve watched two episodes of this and loved it. Here’s the Wikipedia blurb because I couldn’t say it any better: The Residence is an American mystery comedy drama television series created by Paul William Davies for Netflix. Inspired by The Residence: Inside the Private World of the White House by Kate Andersen Brower, the series revolves around a fictional murder scandal involving the staff of the White House. Produced by Shondaland, the series premiered on March 20, 2025. And here’s the trailer. Uzo Aduba is fabulous in the role of Cordelia Cupp, the best detective in the world. And she’s a birder! And it helps her solve crimes!
Workshops in England and France.
Life is crazy here (and everywhere in response). So why not shuck it all and go to England (think swans and the gorgeous garden in which they live and an ancient cathedral with sort of magical Evensongs and a high street bursting with people of all ages and dogs and pubs with fish and chips and mushy peas) to write for a week? I think it’s an excellent idea and I’ll be there to hang out with you. Tons of info, including dates and cost is here. England is easy because they speak the language. Ish.
But there’s also France coming up! We may not speak their language but as long as you give it a whirl (Bon jour is easy to say) you’ll be fine. Find out more on our France page. And seriously, give it a ponder. We’d love to have you accompany us for either workshop.
And if you want a taste of the adventure that awaits with our overseas workshops, you can read my posts about this year here, and here, here, here, and here.
Other places to connect with me:
My website (badly in need of an upgrade)
Our workshop website
My original blog (now for archive purposes only, no longer updated, but damn there are a lot of articles on it).
Life is not easy - but it makes for great stories, right? If you just sit down and start pounding the keyboard - or laying down ink with those beautiful fountain pens a dear writer friend keeps touting... Things have been good for me lately because I've been writing more. And when I'm not actually doing it, I'm thinking about doing it. So much of this is because I've recently had a creativity-awakening with a group of wonderful people who chose to examine The Artist's Way with you at the helm. It has truly made a difference for me in expanding my idea of what it is to create, and I want to thank you for all the ups and downs I experienced in delving into the concepts. You make a difference for me in so many ways - I'm just adding TAW to the long list I already have going.
My friend, I've been on this rock for a long, long time. Yah know, never once have I expected any of it to be easy: Life requires adult supervision, and I'm okay with that philosophy. But sometimes...every now and then...I admit that I sort of wonder if it has to be so %^%$#-ing hard, so ^%^$$ of the time. Once in a while, it would be nice to get a pass. But no one wants to hear us complain about such things, so we don't. We keep on going. Anyway, you're singing my song this day. ;-)