How to Not Lose Yourself (A Love Letter)
Hello lovelies,
The thought came to me as I happily worked on my WIP for the first time in a few days. This is me. This is who I am. This is what makes me happy. And then, just as clearly, the next thought was, but sometimes I lose myself.
I lose myself in worry about finishing projects on time. (This has been a theme for me this year. I’ve gotten several big projects, boom, boom, boom, which I love, but it’s also a lot.) I lose myself in fussing about if I’ve gotten my steps in and done my physical therapy exercises. (If I just quit fussing and did them, I’d be done in the amount of time I wasted fussing.) I worry that I’ll get that annoying back pain when I do my steps. (Working on core strengthening.)
It's like a little cloud descends, blocking my light from shining and the light of the world from shining back to me. It’s not depression. I’m fortunate not to suffer from that, and I have the greatest of empathy for those who do. It’s just a slight dampening. The world goes on as normal, I’m doing all my things as usual. I just don’t feel fully myself. And that happens when I’m not writing.
Can you relate?
When I applied to graduate school I had to write an essay as part of my application. I have long since lost it on a defunct hard drive somewhere but the title of the essay was When I’m Not Writing. And it was about exactly what I’m writing about here. It’s the way we dampen ourselves when we don’t write. Or don’t paint. Or don’t garden. Or don’t create whatever it is we long to create.
When I’m not writing, I get cranky and out of sorts. Resentful and judgy. Short-tempered. Years ago, I had a writing friend who could always tell when I wasn’t writing just by the way I acted, and would implore me to start writing again so I’d be back to my usual self. That reminder always helped me. And so I offer you the same one: maybe you need to tend to your writing.
And I know, I know, I know, the world has gone mad, things are insane and awful everywhere and here I am telling you that everything will be better if you go write. Here’s how I feel about that: It will be better, because it will make you feel better and if you feel better maybe you’ll have the energy to go out and change the world in all its horror and beauty.
You should also consider the butterfly effect, wherein the flapping of a butterfly’s wings in South America effects changes far, far away. One small change can result in large changes. Maybe the butterfly effect is you writing?
Love, light, and good writing,
Charlotte
P.S. I hope your writing has left you soaring and not dampened this week. Leave a comment or hit reply and let me know.
Books
Lorna Mott Comes Home by Diane Johnson. Besides this book being proof that you don’t have to be a millenial or gen-z to write relevant contemporary fiction (Johnson is 87), I love the close-in viewpoint that she manages in this story. When Lorna Mott leaves her husband and their idyllic life in France to return to her family in San Francisco, she gets a bit more than she bargained for. Family and other dramas ensue.
Watching
We stumbled on this scrolling through Netflix but now I realize everyone is watching it. Don’t ask me what it’s about, I can’t tell you. This link will explain more, but loosely, it is science fiction which spans time and place and is wild and wonderful.
And I cannot wait to watch the A Gentleman in Moscow series. Seriously, that book is in my top five of all time. My hub insisted I should read it for years and I ignored him until I finally caved and then I loved it beyond all measure. And in my opinion you should read the book before streaming it. And we have to subscribe to Paramount Plus before we can watch it so it may be awhile.
Articles and Resources
Brainstorming ideas for writers, some good suggestions here.
When your readers think your characters are just like you.
Something a little different: why scientists can’t quit chalk. There’s creativity on that blackboard!
My mid-week extra was a collection of emergency prompts. And it was free to all, due to operator (i.e., me) error.
Events
I keep forgetting to mention that we’ve written several new blog posts about the location of our France workshop and why we love it so much. You can read about art and artists in Céret, the crazy annual footrace there, and best of all, the wonderful local bakeries. There’s only a couple spots left, so nab them now. And stay tuned for an interview with our writer-in-residence, Angela M. Sanders.
If Italy is more to your liking, the details of our Perugia, Italy creative writing workshop are now up on the website. Reply to this email if you want to learn more.
Also—I host zoom write-alongs on Mondays and Thursdays from 3 to 5 PM Pacific. All are welcome. We’re a friendly group, I promise, and also a productive one. If you’d like to join (its free) hit reply or comment and let me know.
See you next week! And paid subscribers get a mid-week extra that comes out on Wednesday-ish. (Last week it was Thursday, due to circumstances beyond my control, i.e., feral children afoot.)
Another wonderful post, Charlotte and very relatable.
I was distraught trying to think of a Magical Realism story for my course playing with POV and I brainstormed for ages. Finally it came to me and I wrote something which felt great.
Love the idea of that butterfly effect and how everything affects everything else and we're all connected. I'd love to read that Ray Bradbury story Sound of Thunder. I remember reading some of his work in high school The story about being on a planet where it rained all the time must have had an impact since I still remember that particular story for some reason.
Now I'm all intrigued about Gentleman in Moscow as I've heard so many people mention it.
Happy Easter, Charlotte!