A Life Lesson for Writing
A Life Lesson for Writing
In which I confess a ridiculous fear
Mindset, motivation and inspiration for novelists—with a dash of instruction about writing craft added in. There’s no one approach to writing that works for everyone, but I can help you find what works for you. Subscribe (free or paid) to get the fuel you need for your writing career.
I’ve mentioned here before that I’m having knee replacement surgery in a few weeks. My knee is bone-on-bone and when I walk, it hurts like freaking hell. This has turned me into a sedentary slug, after being a dedicated walker nearly my entire life. And I hate that. So I cannot wait to get this surgery done and get back to being active again.
But over the last few months, I’ve been having crazy, ridiculous fears around it. Not the surgery itself, no. I’m fine with that. I had hip replacement surgery in 2018 and sailed through it. Since then, they’ve streamlined the surgical procedure drastically. I won’t even need to stay in the hospital! Plus, the same orthopedist is doing it and I’ve been going to his office for years for cortisone shots and I know and like the staff.
But I developed this unfounded fear that they were going to reject me. (Um, writers, does this sound familiar?) As the date for my pre-op appointment drew nearer, I could feel my nervous system amping up, reacting to the slightest thing. My brain fed me constant negative messages which were actually hard to decipher, but all hovered around the themes of they’re going to tell me I can’t do it. No particular reason, maybe that they didn’t like the shirt I would wear. Or the color of my shoes. Or the gap in between my two front teeth. And never mind that I’ve filled out all the forms, been approved by insurance, that the date is set. Nope, no, as my youngest grandchild likes to say, I was going to be rejected.
Seriously, what was all this about? I am a long-time student of the woo, a firm partaker of optimism, and a dedicated believer that what you think about you get. And yet, here I was, awash in negativity and fear.
The pre-op appointment was earlier this week, and it was fine. Just fine. We went over paperwork and the remaining tests I need to get done, got a demo of what was going to happen, got my prescriptions. I was so relieved that I could literally feel the absence of the fear within me. And it was only after I got home that I realized what must have happened in my brain.
I wanted it so badly that I was afraid I wouldn’t get it.
Again, writers, does this ring bells with you? Do you want a published novel (or more published novels than you already have, or bestseller status, or being able to quit your day job, or any other permutation of the writer’s dream) so badly that you’re letting fear get in the way of accomplishing it? Maybe this manifests itself like:
--You want people to read your book but you’re afraid of being visible
--You want to write a romance series but you’re afraid people will sneer at the genre
--You want to write a memoir but you’re afraid of what your family will think
--You want to put words on the page, but your fears block you from beginning
--You want __________, but you’re afraid of _________.
And then because fear is a sneaky beast, it hides beneath your daily routines. You can’t ever quite get yourself to the page, for instance. Or you “forget” to post on Instagram and develop your platform (she said, lowering her head in shame), or you finish a book but it never makes it off your computer. I could go on and on about the ways fear hides itself and keeps us from our dreams, and I’m sure you could add more to it.
But let me tell you something. Between the fear and the desire lies energy and power. It’s our job to harness that so that we can reach our dreams. The relief of letting go of my fear filled me with newfound energy. But it’s better to not to drag the fear around with you until some external force releases it. Far better to get rid of it on your own, so that you can use that power to get where you want to go.
And sometimes that is a matter of feeling the fear and doing it anyway.
Please do tell me how you handle your fears. Hit reply to this email or leave a comment below. I love hearing from you!
Books
First of all, a couple of my clients either have books out or they’ll be out soon, so I want to highlight them here. (Also don’t tell them I told you so, but they are a mother-daughter duo.)
The Haunting of Borden House, by Kim Poovey. Amazon In Book Three of her Dreamist series, antiques dealer and ghost communicator Sarah joins a ghost-hunting team headed by her new boyfriend Garrett. Their charge? Unravel the secrets of Lizzie Borden and who really committed the infamous murders. Sarah’s dreamist powers—and her very life—are challenged and threatened more than ever before. Yeah, I’m prejudiced but it’s a rip-roaring read.
One Shot @ Retirement by D.K. Wilkins. Amazon. OMG, this book is so much fun. When Macy Cooper decides to retire from her career as an assassin to a small town in Pennsylvania, she expects to enjoy peace and relaxation at last. But when a neighbor is killed she is drawn into the investigation. Can Macy manage to keep her past a secret as she investigates? This is book one of a new series, and you’ll be glad there are going to be more books to read.
A Storm of Infinite Beauty, by Julianne Maclean. Amazon. Bookshop. Maclean is a new-to-me author. I think I must have read about this book somewhere because I put a hold on it at the library. Set in dual timelines between Alaska kin 1967 (year of the great earthquake) and Nova Scotia in 2017, it’s a story of family, marriage, and secrets. Lots of secrets. I got impatient with the writing style in spots but ended up liking it a lot. I’ll read more by her.
Articles and Resources
The faceless protagonist, what to do when the conflict is the main character vs. Self
And, while we are at it, a review of the four main types of conflict https://allwritealright.com/the-4-main-types-of-conflict-in-stories-and-variations/
This story about how Steinbeck got his kids to read made me laugh with delight.
*Beware agent impersonation scams
Events
Workshops in England, France, and Italy next year. Woot woot! Take your pick, though spaces are going fast. More info here.